RIP, MJ.
my most vivid memory of ogling over Michael Jackson was when I was child, in my early primary days. my aunt bought a video which is a compilation of all his music videos and snips of his live concerts back then. the first segment of the video showed a bird's view of his concert's entrance - flooded with avid fans pushing their way through the gate. then they showed from a different angle where close-up shots of the fans are recorded. it was the typical - screaming fans, hysterical fans, female fans, and foreign female fans. back then I wondered why the hell are those girls crying their hearts out when they get to meet MJ in person. because back then I didn't know such thing as "tears of joy" existed. heh. I thought they were sad to be there! pfffft...
it was at dusk when I first laid eyes on such phenomenal dancing. my mom was sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with my aunt and they would giggle away at his smooth flawlessness.after that night I would play Smooth Criminal again and again to get that sway-forward-without-falling step right.
then there was Thriller. I remember how petrified I was of that video! even yesterday when it was playing on mtv, all I could see was flashbacks of the sleepless nights I stoned over werewolfs, vampires and walking zombies. and people with dark yellow eyes ohmygod.
'Cause this is thriller, thriller night
And no one's gonna save you from the beast about strike
You know it's thriller, thriller night
You're fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight
nonetheless, I still constantly replay the dancing part so I could dance along. see how contagious his dance moves are! even when I was too chickenshit to watch him transform into a ghoully monster.
clouded with whiffs of his cigar smoke, the inner child in him never fails to appear whenever the name Michael Jackson is mentioned. his eyes light up and there he goes. he tells us how MJ's concert in the UK is the best concert, ever. he tells us what a genius MJ is. he tells us how MJ made mtv possible. he tells us how brilliant the thriller music video is, and that it made thriller a no.1 hit. not the song, but the music video. he tells us MJ is not gay nor crazy, he's just weird. just, weird. he tells us who Jackson 5 is. he tells us how much MJ looks up to Diana Ross as a sister, that if you look at his current picture and her picture carefully, they look alike. yeah you get what I mean.so if you want to talk to someone who has spent two decades loving Michael Jackson, my dad is your go-to guy.
hands down.
that morning I was awake but I layed in bed clutching my phone until it vibrated."michael jackson has dieded!!! :("
it was Kim.
no fucking way, I thought.
"wtf? are you serious?"
"yeah. so sad :("
"pa? is it true? michael jackson died?"
"oh... ya I got a text from my friend... is it?"
"I got a text from a friend too"
"..."
no fucking way.
even when we were bombarded with MJ's hits which the radio played like, forever, we were still in awe.
until I overheard a conversation between this group of young girls in the hallway of the 3rd floor of my school.
girl 1 : har-har he is not dead lah!
girl 2 : but he isss! the radio has confirmed his death!
girl 3 : yeah, right. its probably fake. ya know, another publicity stunt?
girl 1 : ya la!
girl 2 : noooo, its true!!! he's dead!
girl 3 : oh c'mon. its just michael jackson.
wtf.
I swiftly reversed my steps and practically shouted at Girl 1 & Girl 3's face.
... not something I'm proud of but honestly? I'm glad I did. I know Girl 2 did too.
the trip to Taylor's was only joyful because of the friends I was with. I prefer the campus in PJ a whole lot better. the people there were much friendlier, and the campus didn't look like an exact copy of sri garden. Kim and I wore little strips of taylor's post-it notes with messages contributing to MJ's death throughout the whole trip. right above our badges. I wore the ones she wrote for me, and she wore the ones I wrote for her. she, too, grew up MJ influenced. we were both very devastated with this news... if only the oreos and pocky sticks and potato chips could heal the despair, or the stupid period cramps.
if only.
wherever you are now, we love you! whatever you're feeling now, we love you!
I wonder what your last thought was. or when was the last time you moonwalk-ed.
gone, but never forgotten.
Another day has gone
I'm still all alone
How could this be
You're not here with me
You never said goodbye
Someone tell me why
Did you have to go
And leave my world so cold
Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
But you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
But you are not alone
'Lone, 'lone
Why, 'lone
Just the other night
I thought I heard you cry
Asking me to come
And hold you in my arms
I can hear your prayers
Your burdens I will bear
But first I need your hand
Then forever can begin
Whisper three words and I'll come runnin'
And girl you know that I'll be there
I'll be there
You are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
For you are not alone...