damn it. this thing never bugged me before but now that I'm somehow drawn to the circle I feel the annoyance and frustration towards this friend. I couldn't care less before but now she even appeared in my dreams wtf. why, why aren't you helping yourself. rejection can be the best lesson ever but when you're acting so selfishly beauty is just not there anymore. gratitude towards your friends, is what you're neglecting most. I would be damn happy I have such friends stand by me if I act like such lor.

the cycle scared me so much, my hands started to tremble. no, I am not ready for this. I don't want to be ready. I don't want to get involve. so just push 'em thoughts away, push them away.

I missed my dad most when I was away. its such an odd feeling, in my younger days the only thing we'd say to each other is a simple hi and bye. now I'm proud of him, and he's proud of me. and we can talk all day long about nearly everything.