if i could lay my finger on this, this would be the time to say - give me more time.

22 more days to THE exam, and 3 more days to my tap exam. if i stop to think, i would've gone bonkers a long time ago. don't you just love The Script's and Kris Allen's Gotta Live Like We're Dying? songs like this are perfect to allow some self-indulgence, no matter the insanity. the only thing I want to do is download songs, is that so hard!? connection has been sucky for the past month thus the lack of updates. restraining myself from youtube was a definite upgrade in my studying. but its never enough, is it? I have so much more to cover up I just wanna sit down and cry.

not long ago I was placed in a situation where truth was laid out like a perfect mind map - but the key here, was to lie. not to them, but to myself. in the space that's too small catching up with the gazes tears ran like wildfire. in another situation, I fought for what I believed in and ended up being succumbed to my own agony. out of respect, silent wars grew and is now plotting its next plan. its sad really. just, sad.

so thats how I've been - sad.

dealing with different people - to love and to be loved. to see one give up on another takes the cherry on top. seeing the amount of manipulation done I can't explain why its not enough. its amazing how one can turn it all around to save themselves and walk away, guiltless.

kudos to you, my friend.

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