at twentytwo ; 1805

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Hi!

Much random rants of mine in this mini space I signed up for from 5 years ago.

In a nutshell, I'm a 22 year old japanesekoreanindonesianmalaysian singer-songwriter residing in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Other side adrenaline pumping activities include dance, theatre, live shows, photography, fashion, make up, beauty and of course, good food.

I also think I am addicted to coffee.

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For business inquiries, send me an e-mail : amaramirasachie@gmail.com

credits.

Lay out, Basecodes, Banner, Colours

cause I'm still here breathing now

Thursday, December 31

2009 is by far the most dramatic year in my life.

even until now, its still spiralling through a new phase.

what I'm most proud of is how I finally got the guts to share my ultimate passion with my friends - performing arts. in this case, singing.

I got so caught up with fear I just shrugged the offers off with a simple

"no, they wouldn't understand"

after the incident in 2007, I swore to never ever let anybody interfere with my emotions. in short, I practiced to not feel anything. to be numb. to never care, to never ever feel vulnerable ever again. I threw away everything that involves loving and caring and I ended up being an emotional cripple. I was alone - I had no friends and I hated my family. I became a wallower. I shut close my connections completely with the outside world. I hated school - I thought it was useless and pointless and that led my results leaving down the drain.

I had a demandingly huge trust issue. I stopped believing in friends and that led to many heaty arguments. it was... terrible. many were left dumbfounded, what happened to that hyper, crazy, carefree woman who were always so cheerful? many were worried, but they have their own lives to worry about.

thinking back I always just, blamed my parents for everything. for making such stupid mistakes. for affecting me and my sisters so much. for ruining our family, and their own marriage. and all that on my 15th birthday? why?

but you know, running away led me nowhere.

love just found its way in. it just... it will always find its way in. no matter how long, no matter how far.

life and its surprises, huh? :)

those who know me well knows that 18 is my favourite number. 2009 was full of worth-remembering-18 dates, heck, even SPM started on the 18th of November. I'm gonna turn eighteen next year ooo!!! very very excited!!!

meh, you haters go fuck yourself :)

last moments at home before new year. am currently blasting Through The Trees because only I and Kakak are at home. I heart this song. had a hearty breakfast this morning, sisters are safe at Zana's place, and I am now off to bath for the fireworks later.

Happy 2010 everyone :)

I'm proud of who my parents are today. they are my joy, they are my strength. the past? well its the past.

cause I'm still here breathing now,
until I'm set free.
go quiet through the trees.

suprise, surprise.

Wednesday, December 30

2010 :)

That's life

I can't deny it

I thought of quitting, baby

This heart wasn't gonna buy it

And if I didn't think it was worth one single try

I'd jump right on a big bird & then I'd fly

I say that's life& as funny as it may seem

Some people get their kicks

Stompin' on your dreams

But I don't let it, let it get me down

'Cause this fine ol' world keeps spinning 'round

I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate,

A poet, a pawn & a king

I've been up & down & over & out

But I know one thing

Each time I find myself, flat on this face

I pick myself up & get back in the race

cause that's life :)

let's, not pretend.

so pretty right? christmas decorations just never dies. ever.

I peed so much today! any fluids I consume will just automatically drag my ass to the toilet. I met SO many friends today at pavilion hahaha its just funny. like, literally everywhere I turned to I see a familiar face. Kim and I had so much fun window shopping today. I am slowly learning the art of resisting pink clothing items at forever 21... EXHALEEE wtf.

wow. 2010 is so close now.
I am so excited!!!
one thing I've learnt from this year is how fucking lucky I am to have such awesome people in my life. my close friends, my backbones. ones who wouldn't hesitate to scream my name as I step on stage, ones who wouldn't hold back to tell me what my mistakes are, ones who'd buy me ice-cream whenever I'm down. teehee. feeling all fuzzy wuzzy inside!

I gulped down that cafe mocha to awaken myself to stay on for that long talk and god, its effects are stiiilllll darn active. I am so awake now I feel like I can blog for the whole morning!

see who paid a visit recently!

kissy :)
ini anak tengku ar, datang rumah ambil ugly betty saya ah!

and fyi, I am still hooked with Bad Romance. my god lah. how not to love this song!

so I went to school recently to help complete my sisters preparations for school. the usual - books, uniform, school shoes. it felt so weird that I was there, at the place I used to call hellhole/jail/fucked up (haha) and feel... calm. serene. awed.

"wow... I don't have to dread myself to come to this place anymore!!!"

I met few juniors and I couldn't help but feel so sorry for them wtf.

after we were all done and ready to leave, I saw one of my good friends playing basketball in the field. I got so excited so I started waving and jumping to catch his attention but for some reason he just never noticed. or maybe he was just simply ignoring me. I shouted his name a few times alongside with the jumping and the waving but still no response. later then I found out he was listening to his mp3 FML!!!

my shy side wtf. taken during christmas! yeah, the day I accidentally ate pork ughhh.
(...it tasted good la goddamnit!!!)

help, I'm too excited to sleep =_=

white christmas

Monday, December 28

currently enjoying & loving life after SPM and high school. making the best out of it because I know very well when I start taking things more seriously in January, its all back to square one. so yeah.

on christmas I went to two christmas parties, and on christmas eve had bbq at Sue's place. it was lovely, though it was small but the people and the food, and the MUSIC. mmmm :)

... okay so initially I was planning to splatter all my christmas pictures here but damn, my internet is seriously testing my patience so let me just show you

my mom.

heehee. her dorky personality is seriously making me wonder if I'm the daughter or the mother FML

so many things to say, one day. one day :)

Sunday, December 27

brief update

just came back from town. a whole day in pavilion with the family is always good but in the wrong shoes? oh hell no. by the time the second movie started I really couldn't stand it anymore so I literally walked around barefooted haha. and so we watched Avatar and Alvin & The Chipmunks 2. okay so everyone knows the chipmunks were utterly theodorable but that Avatar movie, WOW.

just, WOW. even now I am still awed by Pandora, by how this movie took ten years in the making, and that its written and directed by the same person. and that person is the guy who directed the ever-so-legendary Titanic. I am officially avatar-fied wtf. it is so good I don't mind watching it again in 3D!!!

me and my new blinged phone, credits to Sue Yii.

"whaaat is wrong with you!" me to my youngest sister, Deanna :p

:)

merry christmas everybody!

Friday, December 25

how can I not enjoy christmas this year? :)

teehee.

Thursday, December 24

guess who's birthday is it now?

Naoki's!!!

oh yes, this baldie here has his birthday and christmas on the same date haha how cool is that!

sigh. missing you guys :)

the thing I remember most about Naoki is how he will ALWAYS fall asleep whenever we enter the car haha. Sohei would be the one wide-eyed, singing along to every song that plays on the radio (hahaha damn cute right? he saw how eager I was whenever a hit song was playing so he just.. rapped along wtf) and Naoki would be snoring away.

see what I mean :P

"just turn your heart to stone"

Wednesday, December 23

my dad wouldn't add me in facebook wtf.

sigh, things haven't been smooth-sailing recently and I keep thinking of being a guy. to be able to walk away guiltless, to not be stuck with thoughts or emotions or feelings, them lucky bitches wtf.

and since my mom ditched me (DAMN SAD OKAY. we were suppose to go out together but she said the car no space for me WTF!!! but she made it up by cooking me lunch, so okay la fine la no need to ignore her today wtf) I am now alone at home FML.

I wanna watch bucket list :(

went karaoke yesterday. to release all this anger. because friends are so lidat teehee. the fact that the korean songs are much more updated now is very nice, but the increase in price made me cringe. WHYYY!

have I told you I love gaga's bad romance rah rah ah ah ah ah wtf.

without being disrespectful

Tuesday, December 22

Gaga's Bad Romance music video is so nice I keep dragging my sisters to watch it with me. I love this song la omg.

oh yesh, sisters are back :)

she was checking how chubby I can be FML

memorable, indeed.

it still doesn't change a thing, does it?

I saw many things yesterday - it wasn't pleasant.

to a joy beyond compare

Wednesday, December 16

:3

amazing, on a normal school day I wouldn't even keep my eyes open for more than 5 seconds but now that school's over its the total opposite haha. ah, bliss... who knew it would be THIS extravagant :)

a little uneasy of the fact that my family is going to Penang later and I'm not following. they're gonna be gone for five days wtf... the buffet!!! I'M GONNA MISS THE BUFFET WTF IS THAT? my dad was surprisingly considerate and agreed without hesitation that I should stay back and get ready for prom (cause I still have many girly stuffs to prepare FML) then I bluntly teased my sister cause I'm only going for her. then I asked her to choose, me joining them for penang and skipping out on prom or go to prom and not join for penang - she chose the latter FML. it's okay, I'll use this to scheme my dad into saying yes when I'm ready to go to Japan!!! KAPOW!

watched few movies since my high school life was over but nothing has totally captured my heart yet. what's nice and what have I been missing? I had one long list of movies to watch after SPM but I lost it haha. all I remember is the many many episodes of East Of Eden that awaits teeheehee.

I was away to PD with Kim last week but that shall be another blogspot day. today, let me share pictures of Daniel and show how extremely cute he is. I've blogged about him before, readers who follow should be able to guess who this is.

this,

is Daniel.

MY NEPHEW!
SO CUTE RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT omg I totally died when I saw him. he has grown so much and so handsomely too!

christmas :D :D :D

Sunday, December 13

falling into the hands of friends who truly care, fading away into each lullaby with no hint of worry, swimming in seas of passion and love - I'm happy.

okay much much more to share (eventhough I didnt even say much. wait, I just said I'm happy wtf) but Pink Panther is playing now on star movies and that's more important now haha until then!!!

XOXO!
hahahahaha.

it's over

Tuesday, December 8

(!!!)

it really is.

I'll be back here but for now,
let me self-indulge in things full of love, joy and sheer awesomeness