its been an emotional week.
infinitely it never feels good when you're on the edge, no matter how strong you tell yourself to be or no matter how good you are at being ignorant and numb. immunity's there but when time steals them away, memories flood in and that is all I see - the love we had, the joy we shared. on the inside, its force will just keep tugging. as it gets bigger that's when you know its hard for it to disperse. be gone, I plead. I don't know if its healthy or its just some season but I've been missing a lot of people lately. those who would make this beating stable. from family to friends scattered all over the world. I am adapting, I am adjusting. I'm not saying I need them, no I don't. I just hope they're doing fine. I want to know that they're okay. and I wonder if they're thinking the same thing - in the midst of everything, did you once stop and thought of me? even if it wasn't a pleasant memory, did you? there's just so much gap now that I wish to shut close. so many broken promises I want to rebuild.

its all about taking chances, she sings. and I agree, I took my chance and I am enjoying every moment spent with him. though sometimes he still drives me up the wall heehee. but he'd be there, and I know in his hand there will be ice-cream haha. happy birthday :)

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