Balance.
Friday, December 31
I was looking up because I thought this friend will show up, but of course he was a no-show. like always.
I guess the oddest feeling I'll get is when I write down the date for my notes, which will be a week from now. It feels great being away from everything right before school starts - given the drama, the work, the performances. I get to finally put my feet down and make up to the people I love most for disappearing so much - the family. Not too long later we'll go shoe shopping 'cause the sisters start school tomorrow. Yeah we're very last-minute like that. Very like the mother, if we have time? push it to the last day. It's not a bad thing, it's pretty amusing when you see your own mom panic at what to get for the house or us but gets distracted very quickly at the next shoe/clothes/bag/accessory/book sale. Ah yes, the shopaholic in her. You know when I'm 28 years old, my little brother Aiden will only be 10? sigh. I better kickstart a damn healthy lifestyle if I wanna stay alive to watch him grow and have kids of his own.
Aiden with boobs. ;P
Now that I've resigned from my job (so much fuckery this one. I was lied at, conned and was mistreated just because my boyfriend was working with me too. Stupid, right? Prejudice against us just because we're in a relationship, when this person X is married yet has enough mistresses to satisfy him for life. Dicks. There were few racist issues but let's not go there. Boss was super sweet though, and it's pretty cool knowing a little bit about the retail world. but you know what was the best thing about getting this job right before christmas? that at 8pm every night, I get to see this
Snow! Yes it snows in Malaysia too! Ok its fake its just foam and its smelly but who cares! Snow!
but you know what's even weirder? maybe its because this is my first real job, maybe its because I've met some people who I really bonded and got close with, maybe its because there were reeeaaally nice funny cute customers... I kinda miss this place. which is bad. Because right now I'm just clouded with the good memories, not the bad. and it was mostly bad. The sole reason why I quit was because of a gig offer and because I am no robot, I couldn't juggle both at the same time as it required my full focus and energy, I chose music. Like I always do. and I don't regret it, not one bit.
I'm not sure what I miss more though. I guess, this is what happens when you just leave when you're angry. Just feels... incomplete. Hanging. Awkward. I feel like telling him I'll miss you too when he said he's gonna miss me, but I was trying to keep a straight face so much I just put on a big grin and waved goodbye. This guy, this friend, when words flew with no warning, he was there and comforted me in ways so amazing, that was the first time hot tears ran like wildfire and there I was sobbing in front of someone I barely knew yet at the same time I feel as though we've known each other forever. He didn't even have to say anything. Him just being there, that was all that mattered.) and the last gig has ended, with all this free time I feel like that young carefree girl again. So much time to do all the things I've been wanting to do! Happy face!
Like right now, I can finally blog whatever I want :D :D :D
after finishing the last touches to our x'mas tree. look at Aiden hahaha
the sand beneath our feet, the smell of the ocean air.
Gah I love beach getaways too much...
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